Keith Spangler High Alert

  Keith Spangler Breaks Fundamental Laws of Science, Plunges Humanity Into Eternal “Whoops” By insuppressible reporter Aarraann Staycie  GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — In a catastrophic display of hubris, unmatched ignorance, and a complete disregard for literally everything , Councilmember Keith Spangler —ambassador of Keithtopia, local Guthrie Oklahoma resident, unlicensed "inventor," and walking OSHA violation — has reportedly broken several fundamental laws of science, causing irreversible damage to the known universe. Eyewitnesses claim the chaos began in a lab space Keith rented from the science department of his neighborhood Stillwater high school, a space that scientists are now referring to as “Ground Zero for Physics’ Midlife Crisis.”  There, while attempting to convert his 2003 Kia Corolla into a time-traveling espresso machine, Keith accidentally created a singularity made entirely of old Hot Pockets and bad decisions. “I told him you can’t just combine quantum...

Councilmember Keith Spangler is Officially Declared a "Natural Disaster" After Ruining Everything in Four Major Oklahoman Cities. By  no I'm not wrong, you're wrong!  reporter Aarraann Staycie   In an unprecedented series of events that experts are calling "unholy," "bizarre," and "legally inadvisable," local Oklahoman man Keith Spangler has reportedly managed to ruin life as we know it in four major Oklahoma cities within the span of just 30 days. Keith Spangler resident of Ada Oklahoma, a self-described “DIY enthusiast” and part-time Councilmember for the Nation of Keithtopia, is now the subject of intense scrutiny after leaving a wake of chaos through the four cities Choctaw, Stroud, Oklahoma City, and Tulsa. Choctaw: The Great Chili Incident It all began quietly in Choctaw, where Norman resident Keith Spangler volunteered to judge the annual “Fire Tongue Chili Cookoff.” Eyewitnesses say Keith brought his own “secret recipe for ...